Category: Movies

First Impressions of new theatrical releases that I stay awake through.

Legend of Tarzan

If Spider-Man can swing through New York on webs of his own invention, and we’re cool with it, I argue a vampire named Eric Northman can swing through the jungles of central Africa by vines, and it’s equally as cool! Except this time he’s not a vampire; just English.

Legend of Tarzan gets a lot right, making some smart decisions and taking risks that pay off. It also struggles with a lot more, weighed down by modern sensibilities in what is, frankly, a white savior story, though it tries its damnedest not to be. Except when it embraces it whole cloth. The movie wisely tries to center around the classic tale of Tarzan saving Jane but sets this in a real historical backdrop where Tarzan affects literally world changing events as a consequence of saving the first white woman he ever saw.

This doesn't have to be our little secret:


According to IMDB, the title has been changed to Warcraft: The Beginning. Franchise unlocked! Thanks, China, I guess?

Not long ago I was dragged to this movie, not against my will, but with less than normal enthusiasm. But hey, temperatures were approaching 120° F so it was almost economical, even at current ticket prices, just for the air conditioning. Also, popcorn.

If you can’t see the appeal of MMORPGs or the sort of sword and sorcery pulpy fantasy novels that inspired epic van art of days past, you probably won’t like this movie. Heck, even if those things do appeal to you, you may still not like this movie. If you’ve come to expect good quality fantasy like Game of Thrones, you won’t get it here. This is more your Legend of the Seeker fare (season 1). But with a better CG budget. 

This doesn't have to be our little secret:

X-Men: Apocalypse

On the way home from seeing the oft neglected middle child of summer comic films that isn’t Captain America: Civil War or Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, I began explaining how the continuity from X-Men: Apocalypse played out in the comics to my erstwhile and long suffering movie going companion; the origins of Apocalypse, where he (may have) got his tech, the relevance of the after credits scene, how it all tied together, and so on and so forth. When I got to the time travel aspects regarding Cable, after explaining his birth from a clone of Jean Grey who wasn’t really the Phoenix after all, she told me to, and I’m quoting exactly; “Shut the f$&k up. You’re ruining the movie for me.”

This doesn't have to be our little secret:

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